I would like life to be simple. To be able to sum things up in a nutshell. But that is not to be for me. Never has been. Everything is so--complicated. Always. Take for instance my birth. My parents were young, not married, but wait--they did get married. But they never lived together. I spent the first couple years of life going back & forth between grandparents. This is probably common now but it wasn't in the early 1960's. Then finally I went to live with--my dad.
He remarried and I have three siblings (I remember being shocked the first time someone referred to them as my "half" brothers and sister). We were a family until another divorce, and from around age 12 I was again with my dad, but the sibs stayed with their mom...blah blah blah. Complicated. Again, it may be common these days but it's still weird. Very hard to wrap your mind around.
Like, where do I fit in? I have had three moms who are all very very different, with families all over the financial and social stratosphere. I have always been very observant, but somewhat confused as to how to act. I've lived in pretty wealthy circumstances and have also been kind of poor, and feel like a faker either way.
We had kids early, in our 20's, before my friends or siblings, then late, in our 40's, so again that is weird. We don't fit in either the "parents of young kids" or "empty nesters" group. We homeschool, making us weird. I am a born-again Bible believing Christian, which Jesus promised would make me an outcast. But even among Christians I have trouble fitting in. I am extremely skeptical, hard-core, and serious. I am not bragging about this. Often I wish I could "lighten up" as I've been told many times to do.
You see, being a Christian involves sharing my faith with others. It is in fact the deepest desire of my heart to preach the Gospel--to tell the Good News of Jesus to the world! But as I can never seem to get a grasp on things--tending to oversimplify or overcomplicate--I find it extremely difficult to explain just what the Gospel is.
Lately I've discovered that I am in good company when it comes to emerging from a complicated background. Look at Jesus. Read the first couple chapters of Matthew. Now that is complicated. And no matter how confused I get about things, eventually I run into this verse again like I did today:
LORD, you alone are my portion and my cup;
you make my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.--Psalm 16:5-6
I know this is true for me. The Lord Himself, He is my inheritance. There is no greater circumstance.
One final note. I'm also weird because I love classical music and don't like rock. In fact I wrote a previous blog on this subject; and like the blog where I doused the French, I am now going to have to recant a bit on my thrashing of the rockers.
I read this interview with Bono, and was quite impressed. He was able to do what I struggle with: lay out the Gospel, simply. Now you have to get all the way to the end of the interview. But I believe he does a good job. So Bono is my brother in Christ (and not half-brother, whatever that is). Hats off to you, rocker Bono, may you preach the Gospel evermore!
http://www.thepoachedegg.net/the-poached-egg/2010/09/bono-interview-grace-over-karma.html
