Trudging

 

It doesn't do any good

I woke up like a giant fry pan had just 

Smacked my whole body.

The Holy Spirit pushed me out of bed.

Got up, made jasmine tea, drank it.

Made oatmeal with salt, milk, banana, 

Cinnamon, nutmeg; ate it.

Did dishes, some other stuff,

Sat on the porch with Ron, 

Couldn't remember what I had wanted to talk about.

We prayed together on the porch.

Read Matthew 7:21, John 6:29, 6:40. 

After that I was ok for a little while, but it still hurt.

I couldn't shake it. Talked to a friend for some time.

Ate an apple and peanut butter, 

Salad with turkey and swiss cheese.

Went to the beach. It was beautiful. 

Was preoccupied. So was Ron.

Went home, sat in the back yard. It was so nice out,

I could hear people talking and laughing.

Read a little, looked up at the sky, took a nap outside. 

Was praying all day, groaning in my spirit,

Hoping for this to end. There is no other way. 

It will be well, but when?

Woke up, ate dinner, mostly butter. 

The boys were there. Cleaned up. Everyone left. 

Tried to color with my new crayons.

Had a bowl of Daniel's cocoa pebbles,  

Peanut butter and chocolate chips.

Threw a bunch of that in the garbage,

Because my friend is dying.

And there is nothing that can make me 

Feel better about that right now.